“After kindly chauffeuring my generally very jovial father to our nice, quiet regional hospital, X-rays were scheduled, possibly because drinking eight zombies likely upsets your intestines.” –Ken Kaplan, Parsippany, New Jersey “Presumably, very early last year, in great haste, a clandestine rag- tag xylophone septet quietly discussed joining forces with known members of the new undercover zither band.” –Leslie O’Kelly, East Hampton, Connecticut   “Our library is supposed to be a very quiet zone for everyone, however, unfortunately, your nutty kids just played xylophones with cacophonous results, disturbing me greatly.” –Suzanne Bright, Coral Springs, Florida “Kindly quit screaming; my very excited zebra did not land correctly after jumping over the rugged hedges, but understand, I will gladly pay for your X-ray.” –Ann Jeffries, Cedar Rapids, Iowa “Porcupine quills have nasty barbs, and dogs encountering these rodents may face X-rays, veterinary intervention, or jagged, gory wounds, so keep your zany canine under leash.” –Cathy Reed, Hemlock, New York