The amount of caregivers in the United States has increased significantly since the COVID-19 pandemic began, with 53 million caregivers nationwide now supporting loved ones. While it’s good to know that those who need care are getting the proper help, over 20 percent of caregivers report struggling with their own mental health. Whether you’re a caregiver yourself or know someone who is, there are certain habits that can go a long way. So before the burnout of caregivers becomes an epidemic of its own, try these 15 proven practices to fill up your cup—and trust us, you’ll want to write these down.
Habits of happy caregivers
1. Amplify your self-care regimen
During caretaking, it’s helpful to increase your self-care practices to preserve your own health. According to Kathy J. Baker, LIMHP, CPC, “caring for a sick or injured loved one is an emotional—and in some cases traumatic—undertaking, as well physically challenging. “Self-care begins with healthy sleep hygiene, healthy diet, and regular exercise. Even if you can only manage five-minute increments of exercise, it is important to move your body in ways that you see it would benefit (vs. exertion as part of the “chore” of caregiving).”
2. Talk it out
Frustration, worry, self-doubt, and fear are all normal emotions associated with caregiving. When these emotions arise, it’s important to find ways to safely express them. “Ask for help where needed, and accept the help,” Baker says. “It’s okay to feel and express the negative feelings that come with the role—to a therapist or trusted friend or family member outside the situation.”
3. Write through it
Research shows that journaling is a helpful tool for reducing anxiety and depression—especially when you use it to express your emotions. “Through journaling, you can process feelings, determine if you are experiencing changes in mood or outlook, reflect on your journey, identify needs, set intentions, and practice gratitude,” Baker explains.
4. Remember what you love
Just because you’re helping someone else doesn’t mean you have to put your entire life on the back burner. “Taking time for your own pleasant events and hobbies, humor, massage, meditation, yoga, spiritual practices, and mental health therapy are also life-enhancing, healthy means for gaining the support and healing you deserve,” Baker says.
5. Clear your calendar
Gauri Khurana, MD, MPH, suggests drawing a clear boundary between work and vacation. “Always plan a few days away every two months, or a real vacation every two to three months, because it is incredibly stressful to take care of others. Being in a completely new environment can help reset you.” To make sure you’re getting the most out of vacation time, leave the planner at home. “Block off entire days on your calendar with no plans. Not even to run errands. See where the day takes you, and what you feel like doing.”
6. Prioritize (and minimize) to-do’s
The demand for caregiving may make it harder to keep up with all of your other to-do’s. Instead of trying to get everything done, pick and choose what you’re committed to, and let go of the rest. “Be aware of how much you have on your plate. You will likely need to let other area(s) of your life go temporarily, in order to be present in mind and body,” Baker says. “Caregiving is a difficult but rewarding undertaking.”
7. Focus on personal strengths
If you find yourself focusing solely on the needs of others, taking note of your skills and strengths can help you remember your identity as an individual, and not only a caregiver. A study published in Health Psychology demonstrated that interventions focused on positive emotions helped caregivers feel happier about their role. Focusing on personal strengths was one proven tactic for staying positive during such situations.
8. Identify and reframe stressors
The same study that demonstrated the importance of focusing on positive strengths showed the value of reframing stressors. Specifically, take note of one thing that caused you difficulty one day. Then, see how it can be positively appraised or reframed in a more positive way. This is another practice that can become more of a habit the more its practiced.
9. Find support groups
Sheila Marie Tyson, an artist who was a caregiver for her late husband, suggests seeking out support groups. “They can usually help with suggestions that you have overlooked,” she says. Additionally, finding groups specializing in your area of caregiving (such as people who are all helping someone with the same illness, for example) can be especially fruitful.
10. Feel your feelings
It’s tempting to try and be a rock for the person you’re helping, but withholding your emotions may make things even harder down the road. Instead, Tyson suggests taking time for yourself to really feel your feelings, instead of suppressing them. “Walk on the beach and cry. Let go of everything.” Seek out a healing place where you can be alone, and go there to let your feelings flow.
11. Learn your limits
You may want to rush to help anytime help is needed. But Baker explains that it’s helpful to know your limits and know your role in the situation. “Don’t try to be “everything” to the individual,” she says. “Accept that some days, you have more to give than others.”
12. Get Mindful
Mindfulness is the act of cultivating presence, awareness, and appreciation of the current moment, and it has been demonstrated to improve the quality of life for caregivers. Specifically, research shows that regular mindfulness practice can reduce depression and anxiety while boosting self-efficacy.
13. Practice gratitude
One of the simplest ways to shift your mindset is to think about what’s going well in your life. “Gratitude has a powerful effect on one’s outlook. By naming 3 things you are grateful for each day, you will be reminded of the rewards of caregiving,” Baker explains. Try to make this a habit, and you may find yourself feeling happier on a daily basis — despite the challenges.
14. Embrace appreciation
Feeling appreciated is essential to experiencing joy as a caregiver, especially if you’re in it for the long haul. In fact, a study on spousal caregivers showed that caregivers were much happier — and less likely to report physical pain — when they felt appreciated. If the person you’re caring for isn’t capable of providing affirmations of appreciation, consider finding ways to appreciate yourself, or ask for appreciation from other loved ones.
15. Celebrate your role
Caregiving is certainly difficult, but it’s also extremely rewarding. Research shows that caregivers who focus on the beneficial aspects of their role are happier and more positive toward their responsibilities. Specifically, cultivating a more positive outlook on caregiving has a strong association with higher life satisfaction—even in the presence of increased burdens. Next up: 30 Best Self-Care Ideas
Kathy J. Baker, LIMHP, CPC, The Arts in Psychotherapy: Emotional ExpressionGauri Khurana, MD, MPHHealth Psychology, Dementia CaregiversSheila Marie TysonKarger, Effects of Mindfulness on Caregivers University at Buffalo, Appreciation for Spousal CaregiversJournal of Geriatric Psychiatry and Neurology, Positive Caregiving Characteristics
