On Top Chef, confidence is as important a utensil as a knife or a pan. Cooking good food until intense time and circumstances while still staying true to yourself is a juggling act, but a belief in yourself as a chef and artist can get you through even the most chaotic challenges. Unfortunately, it was a lesson learned firsthand for Kiki Louya. She came in with a strong culinary P.O.V., hardened from her choice to leave her restaurants due to her voice not being heard. But her voice was heard in a loud way when she won the first Quickfire Challenge. Unfortunately, that would be the early peak for Kiki. As the competition wore on, Kiki’s confidence began to fall. She soon realized Quickfire Challenges were not her forte, despite winning the first one. In a personal low, she was nearly eliminated in a challenge that celebrates Pan-African cuisine, the very thing she specializes in. But her demise came in the great outdoors, as she and the other chefs were tasked with cooking a savory meal using hand-picked fruit rather than vegetables. Kiki attempted to make fried chicken, working against the obstacles deep-frying outside provided. As a result, all of the poultry she made for the judges was undercooked, something she didn’t even realize at plating. It was a devastating reveal for her at Judges’ Table, and despite other mistakes that happened that day, her chicken error was “fowl” enough for her immediate elimination. Read on to hear Kiki’s thoughts on her time in the game, and check out Last Chance Kitchen to watch her and other eliminated chefs fight for redemption and a chance to get back into the competition. What compelled you to apply for Top Chef, especially in the middle of the pandemic when things are so hard on the restaurant industry? Admittedly, I was very hesitant at first, but for reasons that were more personal than tied to the industry as a whole. But ultimately, I decided to apply because when someone from casting called, it scared me in a way I hadn’t felt in years, which meant I had to do it! I had to challenge myself; I had to push myself to be vulnerable again. Perhaps most importantly, I knew that representation matters, and if I can inspire other people of color to follow their hearts and dream big, then it would all be worth it. For the past couple of years, you fought for your voice to be heard in your own restaurants, despite the accolades you were receiving. How much did those endeavors prepare you for a competition like Top Chef, and how did it feel to tell your story on national TV? This may sound odd, but I think it made me more comfortable with being vulnerable. For one, I felt like I’d already been through my worst nightmare, having to let something go that I once loved so deeply. I was also ready to show a different side of restaurant ownership, the side that’s ugly and that we generally don’t talk about. It’s much harder than it looks! At a time when restaurants are hurting, and there’s a lot of shame around closing your doors or walking away, it’s important to understand how difficult those decisions can be. And, also how empowering they can feel when you know it was the right decision all along. That resiliency is something I wish I’d tapped into more on the show because it was there, and I could have used it to my advantage. Maybe it was just a little too fresh at the time. You end up winning the first challenge of the season alongside Sara and Sasha. How much did that bolster your confidence at the beginning? I’m not sure it did. It was certainly a relief! But it took me much longer to find my groove. Episode one is exactly that; it’s only the beginning. I didn’t want to be foolish and think that I had the whole thing in the bag! At what point does that confidence falter following your first challenge win? Pretty quickly, at least for me. Looking back, I still had some fear that I couldn’t shake and really hurt me. But from the experience, I learned to trust myself. Trust my gut, don’t plan so much, and never doubt myself or my abilities. I earned it. You mentioned that you struggled with the times on Quickfire Challenges, considering how long you take to hone in your dishes usually. Talk to me about the process of adjusting to those challenges. There are little kitchen tricks that you can use to help speed things along. With each episode, I became more familiar with how to get the same result in less time. It’s a lot of what I’m working on today. I used to frown upon these newfangled gadgets and methods like there was some virtue in always doing things old school. On the show, you’ve got to adapt. So, I’ve become really good friends with my pressure cooker and liquid nitrogen in ways I never cared to before. You end up finishing in the bottom of the Pan-African challenge and say that if you were eliminated there, you wouldn’t take it lightly. What were you feeling during those moments? I was feeling shameful. I knew the fufu wasn’t right, yet I plated it anyway, which was mistake number one. But that wasn’t even the worst part. The worst part is that I’m African, and that was an opportunity to really represent the culture, and I choked. I let my family down. If I went home then, I would have a really hard time forgiving myself. Actually, I did have a really hard time forgiving myself. By the next challenge, those wounds were still very much open and exposed. After that time in the bottom, you said you were “scarred” and approaching the competition wrong, not “shooting from the hip.” Can you elaborate on that? The most important thing when competing on Top Chef, in my opinion, is to be adaptable. You can’t be so married to a plan that you’re unwilling to pivot when necessary, and the show is all about pivots. Because from one moment to the next there’s a surprise. Maybe half of the ingredients you want aren’t available, or a piece of equipment doesn’t work, or there’s a plot twist like “Oh, guess what, you can’t cook with vegetables.” I was so upset with myself over the Pan-African challenge that I wouldn’t allow myself to be in the moment and just think. I cooked with fear, and it showed. Tom certainly showed concern when you mentioned what you were cooking at the orchard, which you picked up on. Did you think about possibly pivoting to another dish based on his reaction? No, and I should have. I remember thinking at the moment, “Kiki, why not take a chance and do a completely vegetarian dish?” I cook mostly vegetarian food, it’s what I’m more known for in Detroit, and I never showed that side of me. That would have been the perfect opportunity. But that fear…man, it was real. That was the moment I could have turned things around and found my confidence. In retrospect, I wish I did. Can you elaborate on what exactly happened for you with the fryer that led to all of the chicken coming out raw for the judges? Ugh. The fryer. The thing with tabletop fryers is that they’re inconsistent. Tom knew that, and he warned me about it. My backup plan was to fry in a pot of oil on an induction burner instead, which can sometimes be easier to control. But I didn’t, simply because my test batch was good, and I felt like I dialed in the fry time. At the moment, though, I didn’t allow myself enough time to check all the pieces. I was racing up against the clock to put food on the plate, and I just planned it all wrong from the onset. What I should have done was twice fry–fry almost to temp, then flash it right before serving. The things you realize when you get your head out of your ass and allow yourself to actually think! It’s obviously crushing for you to find out that you served the judges raw chicken. How do you react at the moment, given you didn’t know that was the case? There were so many emotions. At the moment, I knew I was going home, and I just tried to make peace with it. That’s a hard thing to do in a matter of minutes, but I was certain that there was no coming back from that one. It was heartbreaking. At the same time, while the judges were deliberating, I looked around me and saw how hard everyone worked. So, when we returned, I just felt so humbled. The best dishes of the night were truly the best. I think what Gabe did with his sauce work and those plums were outstanding. Chris and Gabriel had beautiful plates of food too. It might sound weird, but while I was really sad to see my journey end there, I was really proud of everyone around me. We worked hard. Sometimes it shows; other times not so much. You ultimately came onto Top Chef to shed light on what it means to be a Black woman in the food industry. Do you feel you were ultimately successful in that goal? I do. I really do. While I didn’t win the competition, I’m really proud of myself for being vulnerable and being open to connecting with others and learning from the experience. As stressful as it was, it was also one of the best times in my life, and I will always be grateful for the opportunity to share my story with the world. Finally, are there any links or recommendations on how to help yourself and other chefs during this time? Absolutely. You can check out the Restaurant Workers’ Community Foundation, the LEE Initiative, Restaurant After Hours, and Hot Bread Kitchen. Next, check out our interview with Brittanny Anderson, who was eliminated in Episode 3.
