And if you’re someone who puts off going to sleep, you may be dealing with something called bedtime procrastination. Intrigued, or think you know what we’re getting at? Here’s everything you need to know.
What is bedtime procrastination?
“Bedtime procrastination, occurs when a person is aware of the negative impact of reduced sleep, yet delays going to bed anyway without any external circumstances that necessitate this pattern,” saysDr. Ling Lam, PhD, a licensed psychotherapist, a TEDx speaker, and lecturer in counseling psychology at Santa Clara University. According to Dr. Lam, bedtime procrastination—also called sleep procrastination—occurs due to an intention-behavior gap: The intention is to get enough sleep, and the behavior is the opposite. “The intention-behavior gap can be thought of like this: There is a part of you that wants one thing, there is another part of you that wants another (incompatible) thing, and there is a civil war between these two parts. And then, viola! Bedtime procrastination is born,” says Dr. Lam. Bedtime procrastination can wreak havoc on overall well-being, including both physical and mental health. “We talk about bedtimeprocrastination when people delay their bedtime without being able to give you a specific reason for staying up late, often to the point that they find themselves frustrated, sleepy and miserable in the mornings,” saysDr. Helena A. Rempala, PhD, ABPP, a board-certified clinical psychologist in the department of psychiatry and behavioral health at the Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center. So what causes bedtime procrastination? According to Dr. Lam, one of the biggest causes is underlying anxiety. This may be caused by several factors, including:
Feeling a loss of regulation or feeling overwhelmed during the day when there are more demands than the energy, the supply and the gas tank is depleted.Feeling a loss of agency or autonomy during the day, where the schedule is dictated by somebody else (like a boss demanding deliverables, a baby needing attention, or society’s default work schedule that’s biased against night owls).Feeling a loss of enjoyment or monotony during the day, where willpower has to be used to force you to do things you have to do vs. things you want or love to do.
These feelings can snowball, and lead to bedtime procrastination. “The more stressed, overwhelmed, bored, or depleted we are during the day, the more prone we are to bedtime procrastination at night,” says Dr. Lam. “Usually our willpower/self-regulation capacity decreases over the course of the day, so we are especially vulnerable at night as we have exhausted our ability to choose intentionally, and easily default back to activities that require no thought like social media or mindless TV. This can also lead to something called “revenge bedtime procrastination.”
What is revenge bedtime procrastination?
As funny as it sounds, revenge bedtime procrastination is a real term that’s actually been studied. “Revenge bedtime procrastination refers to the 9-9-6 work schedule common among young professionals’ ‘revenging’ against this oppression schedule, sacrificing sleep for leisure time since their work schedule is so packed,” says Dr. Lam. “One way to look at revenge bedtime procrastination is we are wrestling with these losses and the negative emotions they generate and trying desperately to feel a sense of liveliness and enjoyment, a sense of agency and control, a sense of relaxation and regulation, right before we go to bed. We are ‘fighting against the dying of the light’—this is the ‘revenge’ part.” For most people, it’s a way to reclaim life and time. “It is used to described the state of mind of someone who is resentful of having one’s life controlled by external circumstances with no regard for the person’s wishes and well-being,” says Dr. Rempala. “Staying up later than reasonable is perceived as an act of revenge over the controlling agent. It’s like telling fate: ‘See, you can’t make me give up my personal life, no matter what’.
Signs you’ve fallen victim to revenge bedtime procrastination
Bedtime procrastination can be sneaky, and sometimes it’s tough to recognize the signs of it. But here are a few signs that you may be falling into this habit, and how to prevent it.
You notice an impulse to zone out with some kind of screen before bed.
Create some buffer zone before bed (ideally an hour minimum) with no screen time, or replace screen time with something more conducive to sleep, like reading a physical book.
You notice racing thoughts
If this is happening, set a boundary between work and the rest of your evening. “One way to do this is to visualize a container, and imagine putting all your work-related thoughts and feelings into this container—then put a really heavy lid on this container,” says Dr. Lam. “Our mind responds to images just like an audience reacts to the movie in the theater. This visualization exercise could help our minds calm down.”
Going to bed feels like a chore
If this sounds familiar, prepare your bedroom way in advance for sleep. “Air the room, heat it up or cool it off, pick up the mess, fluff the pillows, get your glass of water nearby, spray some lavender scent on the pillows, etc.,” says Dr. Rempala. “Introduce a routine of listening to your favorite story or a podcast with your eyes closed and the intention of falling asleep to make the moment of falling asleep pleasant.”
You notice your body is tense or a background sense of feeling irritable and restless
If you struggle with this, it may indicate a high level of arousal, anxiety, or vigilance in your body, according to Dr. Lam. “Try some body-based regulation techniques like diaphragmatic breathing, mindfulness meditation, gentle yoga stretching, or visualizing a safe and relaxing place in your mind to help your body discharge the excess energy.”
You feel like you can finally “do you” at night.
If this is the case for you, re-think your priorities. “Now is the time to ask yourself what is important in your life and courageously align your routines with your life goals and values,” says Dr. Rempala. “Write a list of reasons why you believe going to bed on time is important to you, especially in this phase of your life. Place that list on the refrigerator or have it light up on your phone along with the remainder of your bedtime. Read it each time your reminder goes on and consider if the reasons are worth ‘calling it a night.’”
You notice you have an irregular bedtime schedule
If your bedtime is all over the place, “practice going to bed at a regular time. Create a ritual or nighttime routine to transition to bedtime,” says Dr. Lam. “The brain thrives on predictable routines, and the more we can make it a regular habit, the better chance we have of overcoming bedtime procrastination.”
You notice you’re frustrated with yourself and judging yourself for bedtime procrastination
Practice self-compassion. The more we judge ourselves, usually the more anxious we get and the worse the bedtime procrastination,” says Dr. Lam. “Instead, do positive visualization of how it might feel waking up refreshed after a good night’s sleep vs. berating yourself for bedtime procrastination. The brain likes positive reinforcement better than negative reinforcement.” Next up, do you have COVID-insomnia? If so, here’s how to cope.
